X marks the spot

I have drawn my last X on April's calendar and we are moving onto May. Jerm had his "booster" shot this morning and is done for this week. His white count was down a little, which Cindy, the nurse, said is normal after the amount of treatments he has had. One of the numbers, and I am not sure what it is, is down to #1, they do not want it to go down any further than that because it means that Jeremy will be more susceptible to illness and infection, so we are praying that his numbers go up. He plans on going to work tomorrow.


Next week is his full week again. It's my prayer that he continues to do as well as he is and that his spirits stay high. You might want to say an extra little prayer on Thursday & Friday next week, because those are the days that I think are hardest for him, because he realizes what he is actually doing and he is physically and emotionally drained by then. A few bible words have come up this week that I think are worth repeating,(of course, I think all bible words are worth repeating), but these 2 came up a couple of times this week.

The first is from Romans8:28;"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." This is one of our favorite verses, and one I read several times a day. Jess had a plaque made for Jeremy with those words on it to plant next to a "victory" tree in his yard. She had the date his cancer was diagnosed so that when the tree is grown and in full bloom, it will remind of him of how far he has come.

Someone gave me a plaque this week with Psalm 100:5 on it "The Lord is good and His love endures forever." That is such an assurance of how good He is....thru everything good and bad, He is with us and that no matter what happens His love will never be taken from us.

Finally, I want to tell you that Jeremy loves reading the comments people leave. He will have access to a computer next week when he is at Siteman so he will be reading more often. To leave a comment, just click on comment at the bottom of the posting and then it will take you to a diffrent screen, then just follow the directions.

Have a great week.
The Schwentker Family

Disclaimer

No animals were harmed during the taking of these photographs...they were, however, horribly embarrassed, as was the birthday boy.

Happy Birthday Jeremy!

Today is Jeremy's birthday! His 27th birthday! I never feel old until I realize how old my "baby" is. It goes without saying what our wish for Jerm is on this day, good health, good life, long life, joy, peace and faith. We are all having a birthday dinner at the cabin today.
Once Jeremy moved out of the house, birthdays didn't seem as important as they once did. We still give gifts, sing Happy Birthday, but it was not really a celebration anymore. I have definitely changed my mind about that! I bought party hats, party horns and a birthday banner. Jeremy is going to hate, but I will love it. The celebration of the day, his life, the joy he brings to the two people who love him like no other, that is something worth celebrating.

Last year, Jerm had several people over to his apartment for dinner on his birthday and before Jerry and I left the party, I went downstairs and stood below his balcony and at the top of my lungs I serenaded my boy with Happy Birthday. Much to his horror, I then sang our song that I have sang to him forever....Love you up to the Moon! Needless to say, many thought I was drinking, but no alcohol was involved. I think Jerm knows thats just me! But this year more than ever the words to our song ring true....

I love you up to the moon
I love you big as the sky
I love to watch you when you sleep
I love to hold you when you cry.

One day when your older
And taller than me
I'll say I watched you grow
Like a beautiful tree.

I love you up to the moon
I love you big as the sky
You'll always be my little man
I love you the best that a mama can.

And one day if you rise up
And call me blessed
I'll say it was a joy
To give you my best.

I love you up to the moon
I love you big as the sky.

Random Thoughts

I start with good news today! Jeremy's friend, Jason, who has lymphoma, is in remission!! Good news, GREAT news, we are so thankful. Thanks to those of you who have been praying for him.

More great news! Jeremy went to work yesterday. He felt great and I think it was so good for him to be at work and forget about things for a while, of course, a burger at Big Bear helped his cause. And another motorcycle ride!

I was making a list of things to do today, I keep a list on the fridge, because when you are my age, you tend to forget things. As I went to remove my list from the fridge to edit, I glanced down at the other papers that are on there (it is Command Central), and I saw THE calendar. The first day of treatment, Jeremy was given a calendar of all his treatments, doctors appts., etc. Jess made us each a copy, it is how we coordinate times, who will be driving, who will be spending time with Jerm. I mark off everyday that his treatment is over. It has 6 X's on it, and I thought to myself, it will be so exciting when there are more X's than treatments. It is the little things in life that excite me.

It is kind of amazing how things that were so important to you one day can loose all it's meaning the next. I choose to believe that is God tapping on my shoulder saying, "Val, in the scheme of things, does it matter if your house is spotless?" I personally love it when I hear that because I have never had a spotless house. Cancer has effected our lives in ways I can't tell you, and I am not the one being treated, but it does effect everyone who loves someone. I have met some amazing people so far in this endeavor and people I didn't even know cared about us, have been awesome to us.

I am a Stephen's Minister thru our church. My fellow Stephen's people are a caring bunch (guess that's why they are Stephens Ministers) and at our meeting Tuesday night they gave me a gift to give to Jeremy, but it ended up being a gift for our whole family. They made a blanket for Jeremy to cover up with at treatments (believe it or not, he gets chilly there). The blanket is beautiful, but it is what they did over the blanket that makes it special beautiful.. Each one of those wonderful people took the time to pray over that blanket, did you hear that? They prayed over that blanket, so that when Jerm is wrapping himself in that blanket, he is wrapping himself in prayers of peace, comfort, healing and love. It is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BLANKET I have ever seen. And I know I have said it a million times, but God is so good to us, not because of the things we have, but because of the people we have in our lives.

Jerm's mom

Short but Sweet!

Jeremy got an early birthday present this week (his birthday is this Friday, April 25). His lab work today was good, his white count is good and his treatment only lasted an hour today! That's a great day in his book.
He got to see the other favorite women in his life, the nurses at Siteman, and that was good too. We went to eat afterwards and stopped and got a couple of movies. When I took him home, I think he was ready to be on his own today. It is wierd because I don't want to leave and I don't want to smother him. I want to be there as much as he needs me and I want him to be on his own so that he is not continuosly reminded that he has cancer (not like he could ever forget).
Fatigue is Jerm's biggest side effect so far. He likes to go all the time, so that has been pretty hard for him, but like he said if that's the worst thing that happens, he can deal with that. He has had a couple of bouts of nausea, but even that has not as bad as it could be.
Everyone has been so great to our family. I am reminded of the bible verse from Phillipians 1:3

"I thank my God everytime I remember you."

Know that each of you are in our thoughts and we are so grateful for all of you.
Jerm's mom

This Good Day

Hi everyone,

Just a quick note to tell you that today was the best day Jerm has had this week. His spirits were great. He got to ride his motorcyle, then him & I went and had pizza @ Stephanina's in Wentzville and since it was so beautiful we headed to the cabin to spend some time with Jerry. My two boys were bonding over fishing, it is wierd how men bond...few words, quiet time hanging on to a pole waiting for a fish to bite that they throw back in....I don't get it, where is the chocolate, where is the chatter, where are the...oh well, I digress and I sat there thanking God for this really good day, watching my boys, thanking God for the day and this time to spend together, thanking God one week is over, thanking God Jerm is not as sick as he could be, thanking God for the friends and family who have rallied around us...just being, watching and thanking Him. I was thinking of the song by Casting crowns called Praise You in this Storm. That is what I did on this beautiful, calm day.

Jeremy's next treatment is Tuesday, it will be a short treatment, maybe an hour. Will post later in the week.

What a Beautiful Day!

Yes, It may be raining and a little chilly outside, but it is a Beautiful Day! This is another day that the Lord has blessed us with on His Earth...AND this is my LAST DAY OF TREATMENT THIS WEEK!!!! 5 down,16 more to go.

I want to thank all of you who have taken time to read this or who have thought about my family and I during this time. Like Deb wrote, it is the family that battles through the cancer, not just the patient. Which reminds me more that we are never alone in anything we do. The Lord is with us, even when we do not think that he is...amazing? I believe so.

This week was a little rocky at times. I have been eating well but sleep is the one thing I am struggling with. I am blessed to not have gotten sick this week. I have heard horror stories of people who cannot eat, are naueseated all the time, stricken with fever and sores, and I haven't had one of those problems yet! I have actually gained 5 pounds this week. I'm a little upset about that because I was told I would be losing weight and the "Biggest Loser" Contest at my work is over in a few weeks! I wanted that money and time off!

Thank you all, for your prayers, your words of support and encouragement, and for taking time to think about my family and I. May God bless each one of you!
Godspeed- Schwank

A Beautiful Day

Although it didn't start out so nice, it turned out to be a beautiful day. We even had lunch out on the patio today.

Jeremy had a good night sleep last night, but he woke up not wanting to go to Siteman. He was a little crotchity, but once the day got going he was much better. The Cardinal Game (until they lost) and visits from family and friends helped (that, and beating his mom at a game of TIGWAP, although I won the first game:) Granma & Aunt Missy stopped by. Dan, a friend, and Pastor Schlie came by also. I promised Dan that he would make the blog.

As usual, Donna, his nurse had his favorite chair set up and ready to go when he got there. Last night, children who have parents going thru treatments at the center planted some flowers on the Patio of Hope and had done some chalk drawings. The patio is beautiful and was made even more so by the loving care that the kids and Nurse Vickie added to it.

We witnessed the red hawk flying over with a delicious lunch of black snake, I hope I never get to see that again, and rumor has it there are several bunnies missing from their nest:(

As our first week draws to a close, I want to tell you how amazing my son is, but I think you should know I may be prejusiced. His strength and courage and sense of humor have made this road a little less bumpy. We have been encouraged by Jim Vieth and Carol Peterson, a young mother of 3 who is battling breast cancer with grace and dignity. She is also being treated at the Siteman Center. If anyone has to battle this maddening disease I am grateful for places like this that make the process a little easier

Jerm has tomorrow and then he is done until Tuesday. Here's hoping that tomorrow is another good day.

So Far, SO Good

Jeremy had another uneventful day (we love those). He felt much better today than yesterday. He even went fo a walk around his neighborhood (and a motorcycle ride:) I will say that he was pretty tired and ready to hit the hay (that's what us old people say when it is bedtime) around 8 p.m. He had a great night sleep last night (Tuesday night).
Only two more long days this week and then he gets a respite next week. I will update tomorrow.
Jerm's mom

2 Down-19 to go

It is Tuesday evening and we just got back from having dinner at Jeremy's. (thanks Kim, the Poppy Seed Chicken was delicious). Jeremy commented today on how fast the day went, 7 hours sure flies by when you're havig fun. He will be there for 7 hours every day this week. Next week, we should be there a very short amount of time, just long enough to get his shot...I call it a booster shot, but I am sure that's not the technical name for it:) Then when he goes all week, Monday will be an 8 hour day and the rest of the week will be 7 hours.

Jeremy had a visit today from Jim Vieth. Now, Jim goes to our church but he has never met Jeremy and we (Jim & I) have had conversations in passing. I tell you this because Jim took time out of his day to come and sit and talk with Jeremy. The truly amazing thing about this, is that Jim is himself a cancer survivor. I think it was about 3 years ago when he was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer and his prognosis was not good. He had radiation and chemotherapy. He lost weight, got sick, weak and to see him today you would not know that he was ever sick. He has a great, contagious attitude. He has a strong faith, a quick smile and a positive outlook. I am amazed and grateful that he took time out of his day to come and spend time with Jeremy and Jeremy was inspired by Jim. You never know why people come into your lives, you only know who brings them there.

Jeremy took his motorcycle out for a spin this afternoon, but only made it to QT to put gas in it. He said he felt a little nauseated, so he came back home. He didn't sleep very well last night so I am hoping he rests tonight. Speaking of resting...I have things to do. I am posting a couple of pictures from Jeremy's surgery last month and a few I have taken this week (you know I have my camera with me at all times).

You can leave a comment, Jeremy has access to a computer at the hospital and will be checking in. He wrote in the blog today. Until tomorrow!

My Infusion "thingy" Won't Stop Beeping

Hello everyone! This is the one, the only, Schwank! I'm writing you from the place where I am receiving my treatments, the Siteman Cancer Center. It really is a nice place...or at least as nice as it possibly can be. However, since Ma and I have walked out to this computer so I can say hello to all of you, my Infusion "dripper thing" won't stop beeping at me!! I keep pushing buttons on it, to quiet it, and that seems to be working. Im sure Donna, my nurse (or angel as I am referring to her as), will tell me I screwed something up on it. However, I think you could punch her in the mouth and she would still look at you with that smile and say something sweet to you in her soft-spoken voice.

I just wanted to say thank you...all of you, who I know, and to those I have never met. This is an experience that NO ONE ever wants to go through! Jim Vieth-I would love to chat with you. You said that it is Family, Friends, God, and those who have walked this path before that will get you through this. Now I know it!

God never gives anyone more than they can handle. I've asked a million questions as to why? I am not glad that I have cancer...at first it made me angry! Now I am glad, it has shown me the true hearts and souls of God's people. It has brought me back to HIM. As much as it angers me to say, I lost my God Path. The Lord sometimes does things to bring us back, to open our eyes and to see that He is still in control. Those are the times that there are only one set of Footprints In the Sand. We never do it on our own, we just think we are. God did not GIVE me this cancer. But God is using it to bring me back to Him.

As my Ma wrote in an earlier blog, no one knows what good will come of this. Or when. Or where. But in our hearts we know that it will. This is my second day as a Cancer Patient. I can not wait to join those like my Grandma Schwentker, Deb Gilbert, Deb Dizerega, Jim Vieth, my close friend Jason Law, and many many others who have traveled this road before, and be a Cancer Survivor.

God Bless all of you. The power of prayer is unbeleivable!
Godspeed,
Schwank

One Down-20 to go

Jeremy's first treatment was today...pretty uneventful (yeah). Lots of things to learn and watch for. I think Thursday or Friday, the treatments will kick in and he may not feel as good as today. They did not put a port in, but they are leaving the iv needle in, they wrapped it when we left there today. They will move the needle as they see fit.
The day consisted of Heaven Sent doughnuts, Jimmy Johns lunch, journaling, ivs being changed, magazines and visits from a couple of friends, Shane, John. Jerry (Jerm's daddy) came up and visited during his lunch hour. Donna, Jerm's nurse was wondeful and took good care of him. I told her to make sure she gets a good night sleep and her favorite breakfast so she is good to go when we get there tomorrow.
As much as I hate to say it, the infusion room at Siteman was a busy place today. I hate to say it because it means that all the people were there for one reason and some had to wait for chairs to open up before their treatments could begin. As a mom, it is hard to believe that your child is going thru this, Jeremy is by far the youngest one there today, but I also realized that I am not so odd in feeling the pain of watching my child go thru this. I met a gentleman today, Orville, who was there with his son, Herb. Herb is around my age and has lung cancer. Orville has all ready lost a daughter to ovarian cancer and lost his wife to cancer also. He said as hard as it was to lose his beloved wife, it has been even harder watching his children. Please keep Orville and Herb in your prayers.
As I close this out for today, I want to tell you how much each and everything you have done or said has meant to us. I went to the Center today with gifts from people Jerm hasn't even met, on the way home, I got a call to pick up another gift from one friend and dinner from another. Another friend stopped by to see Jerm on her way home from work. Awesome! God has blessed our lives with so many wonderful people. Some of you have asked if there is anything you can do for Jeremy and I will tell you that I am collecting some "do rags" for him for when his hair starts coming out. I don't know if he can really shave his head because of the "divuticulatis" he has on his head. I am not really sure if that is the name of it or not, but Jeremy has sores in his hairline and makes shaving his head painful because they burst and pop. So we are looking for do rags.
One of my favorite bible verses is Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.' I thought of this many times today. I do not know why Jeremy is going thru this, I only know that something good will come from it, we may not know for years what it is. It is my hope that God uses this journey to bring us closer to him. Until tomorrow.....Valerie & Jerry

past emails

Hello friends,
Just wanted to take a minut and let you know about Jeremy. Some of you know that he has had some problems lately and after some testing and without going into too much graphic detail, he has been diagnosed with testicular cancer. He is having surgery NEXT Thursday. There are 3 kinds of cancer this could be and until they biopsy it, which takes several days, we will not know which one he has or what form of follow up treatment he will need.
To say I am scared is an understatement and while I know that testicular cancer is the most curable formof cancer, I also know that he is my baby and I can't do anything for him. I guess it doesn't matter if they are 26 weeks old or 26 years old, the fact that I still want to hold him in my arms and keep the world at bay and protect him is all I can think of.
Please keep him in your prayers, because I know it is the oly thing I can do, and it is EVRYTHING I can do. I will let you know more as I know it.
Thanks,
Jerry and Val


Hey everyone,
Just wanted to let you know Jeremy had his surgery yesterday and the tumor was removed. He had a prosthetic put in also. He did well thru the surgery, although it took a little while to get that big boy to sleep. He is very sore but he is on the mend. He has an appointment next Thursday with the urologist where he will find out if there is any follow up treatment he needs. The Dr. said he did not want to tell us anything until he had the biopsy back, until he is sure what is going on.
Jerry and I appreciate all the prayers, you will never know how much your kind words have meant to us and Jeremy. Now we pray for patience as we wait the results and for Jermey to have the peace, strength and comfort for the days that lie ahead.
Thanks so much,
Jerry and Valerie

Hi everyone,
Jeremy had his followup visit today to the urologist, I was hoping the surgery would have taken care of his cancer, but there is a little bump in the road.
I may have told some of you that Jeremy has swollen lymph nodes on the right side of his groin which could have been from the infection that caused him to go to the doctor in the first place (the infection was totally unrelated to the testicular cancer, so it was a blessing in disguise, a painful blessing, but a blessing none the less:) I am going to explain it the best I know, which is not that good, I still have questions, lots of them, but this is what I know, I think
When Jeremy had blood work done before his cancer it came back normal, which I think means they had a reason to believe the tumor they were removing was benign. It wasn't benign. Dr. Lev said that 10-15% have blood test come back normal when there is in fact cancer. After the biopsy was done on the removed tumor it was determined to be cancerous which means that the abnormal lymph nodes on the right side of his body most likely cancer also. Jeremy is being sent to the Siteman Center to see an oncologist to have follow up treatment, chemotherapy. While this is not real common Dr. Lev assured me it is not unusual either. So that's it, my BABY has cancer, but Dr. Lev said that the prognosis is excellent, not good, EXCELLENT!!!!!!!! And Jeremy is calm and strong and young and ready to do whatever it takes to get back to 100%. He went to the Siteman center after he left Dr. Lev's today and said they were WONDERFUL there, they are trying to get him in tomorrow or early next week. I told his doctor I am scared...he said he would worry about me if I wasn;t, so I guess I am normal, will someone tell my family that? I know there are worse things that can happen, I know many who are going thru harder struggles than this in their lives right now, I feel selfish being scared, but I feel helpless and unable to protect him from this.
And yet we see so many amazing things happening around him and us. Friends and family who have rallied around us, lifted us up in prayer, sent notes, cards emails to Jeremy and us. It has been amazing. We are SO VERY GRATEFUL for Dr. Hingst, Jeremy's regular doctor who sent him to Dr. Lev, to Dr. Lev for explaining and reexplaining when I don't get it and now for the Siteman Center. Please continue to pray for those who have taken and will continue to take care of Jeremy.
Our church had a musical this past weekend and one of the songs we sang was Glorify Your Son. Those words have been in my thoughts all week, Give him faith, give him courage, give him strength and give him peace. That is what we are praying for.

Thanks again for your kindness.
Love,
Jerry & Valerie




Hi everyone,
Just a small update....Jeremy is going to the Siteman Center next week for a petscan and some other tests. His appointment is April 2 with the oncologist, the doctor is on vacation next week...can you believe it, he obviously doesn't know who Jeremy is:) I just have to keep telling myself it isn't my timing.
I have been so consumed with what is happening with Jeremy that I forgot to mention that a friend of Jeremy's is going thru treatment at the Siteman Center for lymphoma. His name is Jason Law, so please keep him in your prayers also......man, who knew I was this needy????
Have a blessed Easter!
The Schwentker Family


Hi everyone,
Today was the "consultation" with Jeremy's oncologist, Dr. Tim Poulard (love him). Jeremy will be undergoing 3 rounds-9 weeks of chemotherapy. Along with the lymph nodes, he also has a few spots on his lungs, a couple that "lit" up on the petscan, which means they are cancerous. Not what we were really hoping to hear. The doctor said that since the cancer originated in the testicles, this is all still part of the testicular cancer. I think I was expecting to hear more about the cancer in the lymph nodes, but he talked with us at great length about the concern for the spots that are on his lungs also. The chemo should take care of all of it.
The first week of his chemo will be everyday, all day, then the next 2 weeks will be one day a week. He will have to do this for 3 weeks. It is an aggresive form of chemo but it should take care of all the hot spots that are in his body. After the treatments, he will have to go every 3 months to make sure everything is good. Of course, none of this can start until he has ummmm...banked his "boys" for future Schwentkers. Hopefully that process will be wrapped up in 10 days because the doctor wants him to start the chemo as soon as possible.
I am still in shock and awl I think as to what is taking place. Some ways it seems this has all gone so fast, and other ways it seems like a lifetime. There are moments when I feel like I have been kicked in the stomach and I can't catch my breath and then that is when I say BREATHE, just Breathe, and then I close my eyes and I say ok God, it's your plan.....but you have to help me out with this...and He does. I don't know if it is the fear of the cancer or the feeling of ABSOLUTE helplessness that I can not do anything for Jeremy, I can't have the surgery, I can't take the chemo, I can't do anything but watch and pray...and so I do, I pray. I pray for strength and comfort for Jeremy, guidance for every doctor and nurse that will become part of his everyday life over the next few months. Jeremy was confirmed at Messiah at the end of his eighth grade and his life verse was chosen for him. Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and courageous, do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." I know Jeremy is our kid, but I want to say he is handling this all with a sense of humor and grace and strength. I love that kid!
Again, thanks for your kindness. Jeremy said that he is taping up every card and note he has gotten and he is amazed at how nice everyone is, even people who don't know him.
Love,
Jerry & Valerie
P.s. My dear bible study friends, I kind of lied to you the last time we met when I said I would be ok with whatever happened....I kind of broke down.....you should never believe anything I say:)

Up to Date

I have started this blog as a way I can keep everyone updated on Jeremy's progress as he goes thru the steps of his cancer treatments. I think I may have missed some people as I try to update them, so I thought this might be an easier way to keep in touch.
Jeremy starts his chemo tomorrow, Monday, April 14. He is anxious to get the ball rolling so he can be done.

I want to thank all of you for the kindness you have shown our family thru out this time. The cards, notes, phone calls, gifts..etc....have meant so much to our family. This is a bump in our road of life, but not one we can't overcome. As this process begins, we are just asking God to be with every person who will be taking care of Jerm over the next few month's aand we are praying for comfort and strength for Jerm.

I will try and blog every day, at least every other day to let you know how things are going. I am also posting the previous emails, because I am sure that I may have missed a few people. Again, thanks for your prayers and your kindness.